


I want you to know

by palamig



Series: in the wee small hours [1]
Category: Fruits Basket
Genre: F/M, Fluffy but also kind of sad, Kyou Has An Anxiety Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 13:25:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17940536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palamig/pseuds/palamig
Summary: “Staring…” he mumbles absently.“Hm?”“You’re staring.”“…am I not allowed to?”





	I want you to know

“What?”     

Large brown eyes blink up back at him. The darkness hides her face, but these years of being with Tohru has every part of her existence carved into Kyou’s mind.

He’s not used to long periods of being at the center of attention, even if it’s just Tohru. It’s weird and uncomfortable. It’s not right. He’s sensitive enough about this whole attention issue that the five straight minutes she’s spent staring at him as he tried going to sleep did not go unnoticed.

“What do you mean, _what_?” Tohru asks, her breath tickling his skin.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” He picks his words carefully. He knows how sensitive she is despite the years she’s spent trying to prove that she’s gotten better at taking harsh words. As if anyone would believe that.

“No.”

He tucks his arm under his head, and fixes his gaze more firmly at her. Her eyes reflect the moonlight sneaking in from the cracks in the curtain.   

“Then what’s up?”

She pauses for a moment. He could see the faint outline of her small fingers pressing up against her lips in thought. And then she smiles thoughtfully, “The ceiling.”

There was a silence, pursed a few moments later by the sound of her muffled laughter.  

“You know,” He pinches her nose lightly, “when you make a joke, you’re not supposed to laugh at it.”

“Shh.” Her palm is tapping lightly against his cheek. A warm, tingling sensation. She’s still giggling at her own joke, “You talk too much.”

And then she was back at it again. Her brown eyes stare right back up at him, like she wanted to say something, but she isn’t saying a word. The curiosity is eating him up. Why was she staring at him?

“Staring…” he mumbles absently.

“Hm?”

“You’re staring.”

“…am I not allowed to?” He could hear the disappointment from her voice.

It’s funny how quickly his heart sinks. How quickly dark thoughts flood into his mind. Did he say too much? Did he hurt her again? Was she going to cry?

 _That’s all you know how to do_ , says the voice inside his head. _You only know how to hurt others_.

The voices keep talking and talking. They say so many things. He’s heard them all before and yet the pain from each one still feels like a fresh new open wound. What if she finally has had enough of him? What if she finally sees through this illusion, to see him for who he really was?

Who was he?

 _A monster_ , the voice says.

No. _No._ He clenches his fist, his heart palpitating like a motor engine in his chest. He shuts his eyes tightly. He promised himself he won’t listen to the voices anymore. He promised to be stronger. For himself. For her.

But what if he loses her? What if he _loses_ her?

Not enough. He’s not enough. He’ll never be—

“Kyou.”

His heart stops. The noises disappear. Like she had run up to all the speakers in his head blasting altogether at the same time and switched them all off. Her fingers are back on his cheek, treading lightly over his skin in a calming, constant tempo. Gentle, warm, reassuring.

There was something supernatural about Tohru and the way she could read thoughts and feelings. She reads his anxiety, his fear like a page off a picture book. It was a strange, and terrifying thought—that somebody could pay attention to him enough notice the smallest of his actions. He never thought such a person existed. That such a person could exist.

And yet here she is existing before him; with gentle hands, kneading the stiffness, the tension, the panic—all of the darkness, away.  

They’re closer now, her lips only inches away from his. But for some reason, he’s afraid. That if he reaches out to touch her, she will disappear, like a dream that fades away the moment you wake up.

This wasn’t a dream, was it? Was she really here before him? Was he really allowed to feel this kind of love? Is happiness really this simple?

“Kyou,” she repeats. All of his thoughts evaporate into thin air. This time his entire being obeys her call.

“Yes?” He responds.

Kyou is suddenly aware that his entire body’s been shivering and he’s been sweating. There’s a dull pain burning in his chest that he can’t explain. Like he ran an entire marathon around Tokyo, and he’s out of breath, and he feels so awful.  He wants this feeling to go away but it won’t. He’s afraid it never will.

Tohru strokes his cheek. A gentle reminder that she’s still here. She’s still here, Kyou _._ Her thumb catches a droplet of tear that has unknowingly squeezed its way into the edges of his eyes.

She’s still here.

She’s not going anywhere.

Kyou lets Tohru take his face with her hands. She brings him closer to her, so close that her exhales tickle his skin.  

“I wanted to tell you,” she starts, with a loving, understanding smile. Her thumbs continue tracing circles in his cheeks. There is a voice inside his head but now it sounds just like hers, “that I’m so happy you came into my life.”

**Author's Note:**

> I. Love. Kyou ;_;


End file.
